Incredible India? How much is it and how much it needs to be?

This Sunday was one of those days when I tried to unravel the hidden meaning of that slogan 'Incredible India'. Went to see Red Fort. It looks magnificient from outside. The flag waving high makes you wonder how it would be from inside. In a nutshell - not too good. 

It starts outside, where you have to buy a ticket. For the unitiated, Red Fort is one monument that almost every Indian recognizes. On a Sunday morning, we had all of 2 ticket windows. The booths are almost underground and there are no signboards. So you end up asking others, "Is this the line for tickets?" The speed is slow. There are arguments over change. And 2 ticket windows are closed.

It is vacation time and a lovely October Sunday and there are hundreds of visitors and you keep 2 ticket windows closed. Bye bye Operations Management principles. Folks aint there to see the ticket seller. I am sure many people just leave after seeing the long queues.

While the exteriors are certainly well kept, interiors leave you disappointed. 

Dust left uncleaned, maintenance tools left unattended, odonil packets inside the supposed trasures from Mughal empire (trust me Odonil of all odours along with royal curtains, bedsheets and gowns), Pan spits left unpenalized...

The only thing that was well maintained was the lawn inside and outside the Fort. 

What about the visitors?

Not too encouraging. I think we, Indians, are not even good tourists. Many were trying to sneak inside restricted areas. Or trying to test the toughness of glass protecting the antique items. Or ensuring that red fort remains red with their lovely paan spit. Is there a way to make people wash their mouths before they enter such places? Just enforce it. Just because the ticket is Rs.10 does not mean that the monument is there to waste. I really think that the ticket should be raised such that people start valuing what is inside. Make it Rs. 50 or even Rs. 500 to keep these spitting idiots away.

Misery a-la-carte

In the afternoon we went to the restaurant inside - Daawat (run by Samrat Hotels). While the menu claimed several exotic items, they had, for our information, highlighted in red (no - not stricken out but highlighted) those items that were not available. With 50% items gone, we learnt that only lunch items were served at that time (fyi, that time was 3.30pm). So we had a Paratha and tea/coffee. It took super long  for these 3 extremely complicated items to arrive. I must admit the taste of all 3 was good - no complaints there. But then, the bill would simply not come. I actually volunteered to pay at the desk, then the calculator came out...

Finally, out of the fort, we wait for a good 20 minutes to get an autorickshaw. But that I guess is out of the purview of the tourism rant. That is back to Delhi's old ways.

Incredible huh!

My suggestion to folks in charge. Get the basics right. You really don't need any slogans after that. Else these lovely monuments are just relics abandoned as relics.

Auto Rickshaw strike in Delhi

Delhi is a place where many things happen arbitrarily. One of them is the very Indian phenomenon of autorickshaw.

The autorickshaw-walla from Delhi is an entrepreneur at heart. He is the model of rational human being that the Microeconomics text book talks about. He perfectly understands not only his well-being, but also that of his tribe of autorickshaw wallas.

Just go to India Gate and try to get an auto to anywhere. It starts with 50 Rs. even if the place is 1 kilometre away. Then you bargain, feel angry, cheated and humiliated when every auto walla asks for the same 50 Rs. You say, "Lets go by the meter" and they just walk away.

And why just India Gate, go anywhere in Delhi, the autowalla is just the same, "Your money is mine" attitude.

Alright, that is one part of story, now the next - they don't go where the passenger wants to. They go where they want to.

And now, they bring the city to the halt. I just hope no one gives in to them. Make them run on the meter. Make them follow the rules. Impound those vehicles whose drivers refuse to ply passengers. And yes, start good public transport (especially safe buses) that make sure that autowalla starts following rules. Incentivize good behavior and penalize bad behavior.

Also, improve financing to them through usual banks. It is said that loanshark's extorting skyhigh interest rate is the cost that they pass on to the customers. They certainly deserve more credit lines on normal rates.

BTW, during the strike, there was no increase in bus frequency to ease people's problems. Autowallas know this and they are right in thinking that people are in trouble.

Just like Delhi, Nagpur is another place where autowallas run the show. Mumbai, Pune, Aurangabad, Ahmedabad on the other hand have generally disciplined autowallas. Here is a Freakonomics article that attempts to explain the difference:
Why is the Delhi autowalla so different from Mumbai autowalla?

Adventures at SBI - Part 1

Through the humid lanes, sweat on my eyebrow and a wish to sit in a swimming pool, I trudged along. It was with some satisfaction that I walked towards the glass doors of the shop - must be a 10 feet by 8 feet room in one of the prime locations of Delhi. the board displayed on the ATM - State Bank of India.

It was about 2 months ago that, the highly regarded SBI and its even more highly regarded officials had blessed me with an account in this institution of India. Here is the story of how I managed this feat...

In its full glory, on the first visit, one official read through all my documents. I was happy that in first visit and after only 30 minutes waiting in the queue was getting me to the stage where the documents are accepted. I was ecstatic. This is unheard of...only few days ago my friend was saying it takes 2-3 visits....what was he saying!

The official after a detailed perusal, turns his head towards me and smiles.... Suddenly a shiver runs through my spine, why smile? That's not correct. He says, "Accept karne waale saahab to 2 din chhutti par hai...aap tab aaiye." Still, I ask, "Par kya documents theek hai? Complete to hai na?" He replied, "Yeh to wohi batayenge". What the hell...arey to haath mein lekar padhne ki acting kar rahe the kya!!! Everything in my mind. I walked out quietly.

I go there 2 days later with my 2 colleagues who also were attempting the same stunt of opening account at SBI. We loiter there for 5 minutes and jump the queue and ask the fellow behind counter, "Aaj account khulega?". Pat comes the reply, "aap ko bataaya na 2 din baad aaiye." I protested , "Yeh to aapne 2 din pehle bataaya tha..."

The guy did not bother to reply just looked incredulously at us...something like how Alexander must have looked at Porus or perhaps more like a dog looking at a lamp-post. 2-3 years ago I would have shouted at him, made a scene and stormed out. But not these days....after I had swallowed his look, it suddenly dawned on me. Einstein's theory of relativity works extremely well in SBI.

While we had shifted on the time axis by 2 days...the nice chap helping us out was still in the same time position as (our) 2 days ago. You see this is exactly what happens when you do time travel. (You may call me an idiot but I will prove in the next post that this is true.)

Theek hain..thats ok....

Then, on one Saturday, leaving my colleagues in lurch, I moved stealthily in that SBI branch at 10.30 am with hope in my heart and a prayer on my lips. I went into the bank. Suddenly, I saw a man whom I had never seen before. He was sitting in a seat which was empty on our earlier visits. He must be the one - "The One". I walked to the counter. There were only 2 people there. In less than 20 minutes he was done with them. I thought through my strategy lessons from IIMA. Can I apply any of my case learnings here. He was already staring at me with the look that said, "You are wasting national time by staring blankly at me, you duffer." Unable to think anything, I pulled out something from my bag....Only the documents came out. I handed them over to him. He said, "Iska kya karu?" I spoke with as meek voice as I could, "Sir dekhiye documents complete hain kya"

He glanced through them for the next 3-4 minutes. Sweat on my eyebrows, it felt like 20 minutes (theory of relativity...remember). He said, "Yeh theek hain". As he tried to return the documents to me, I moved swiftly. My hands pulled the form out of the bag and offered to him. I had won the duel. My form was in front of him before he could push the documents back to me. I had won this duel.

With obvious discomfort, he had to accept his defeat in this round. I had not only taken his acceptance, I had also made him move with me in the next round. But my eyes were on the final goal, I kept my emotions closed within. He suddenly smiled...no...I resolved not to allow him easy victory. He said, "Yeh optional waala part bhariye." The old Siddharth popped out and said, "Lekin woh to optional hain". He said, "Theek hai...aapka form vaapas aa jayega central processing se...account nahi khulega". No! I took the form. Without leaving from his line of sight, I scribbled in many more boxes. In 15 or maybe 20 minutes, "I gave him the form". He said, "Abhi Monday ko aaiye". I begged to the 'One', "Sir, aaj hi kar dijiye...please". He said, "To rukiye thodi der". Finally, at 12.55pm he called me and stamped the form. Wait for another 35 minutes and my account was opened.

He gave me the number and the passbook. The third visit was what was needed to find the "One", the messiah of banking. The one man who could open my bank account.

With great joy I came back...the coming Monday I proudly announced to my colleagues. "I have a SBI account". To which they replied... "Well...Good luck to you. We will come to you if we need help." Sure I said. They never came for many days. I am still hoping to help them.

In the meanwhile, I want the online banking facility for which I have visited the bank 2 more times. But the messiah of Online SBI banking is different and his time travel is slower than the earlier one. I guess the next visit...definitely

And the ATMs, yes the ATMs, that story next time...

Hot, Humid and Horrible - Delhi 6/7/8/9...

About 2.5 months in Delhi, I am still looking at the skies. I am missing my MONSOON!

We folks from Mumbai have a habit of clouds pouring rains. In Delhi however, the clouds are more playful. They play hide and seek a lot. Of course they are also
extremely conscious about stealing the thunder away from the mighty Sun.

So, being as polite as they are, they prefer to come together, make people feel that it is going to rain and then disappear.

By the way, the weather forecast accuracy is at its best. Whenever forecast says it is going to rain, it becomes very cloudy and humid.

What? You say how is it accurate?....Well earlier when rains were forecast it used to be sunny. So, statistically speaking, it is 50% improvement over earlier forecasts.

More on Delhi soon...